GPS of our life (part 2)

I believe whatever little or big a problem anyone has is a problem and nobody should consider it little. For somebody who is attached to a friend or even a pet, anything bad related to them will affect him/her. For someone who has an emotional attachment with a stationary box because his/her grand father gave it before his death, losing any part of it will matter. Just because you and I don’t have the same life and problems doesn’t mean your or my problems are insignificant. Being empathetic is a basic of peaceful life.

But…

Those who are just ‘sad’ like forever sad and ‘realizing or not realizing always complaining’ like whenever you talk to them are the category 1 or 2 types; category 1 being a bit harder than 2.

I have always felt the need for people to do something about what makes them sad. At least try. So you can know in your heart that you didn’t just let go of yourself and your life purposes but instead took charge of it. What good will only crying over the calamity that befell you do? (I mentioned only coz come on we’re humans, we feel sad, we cry)

A good friend of mine goes through what is basically ‘domestic abuse’ but doesn’t realize it half the times and the other half she just…. I’m not sure what word to use…. is okay? lets go? is surviving? believes this is how it is? I’m not sure. I wouldn’t dare tell her about her rights when she can’t even take a firm stand against foul language being used in front of kids (and so they use it too and everybody laughs it off as ‘cute’) :neural: I tried to tell her to make her husband sit and talk to him kindly with love and respect about how everybody treats her as a cook and maid. But she says ah well it’s okay leave it. (her case is a bad one and I’m not here to state her story)

Another friend would just be sad about how her mother and sisters were not supportive of her and had trust issues with her, how they would suspect her use of cellphone, how they wouldn’t trust her friends etc.
me: have you ever done something your parents didn’t like and you knew it?
her: yes, many times.
me: do you use cellphone in the wrong ways?
her: hehe yeaahh.
me: are your friends nice and you trust them?
her: now that i think of it, no.

😯

Eventually she changed her life. Thank you Lord!

What we need to realize is life doesn’t always go as we want it to and people don’t always respond the way we imagined in our heads (I mean I imagine it all in my head, don’t you?) and we get devastated by how things turned out to be. Which is normal and completely okay. What’s not okay is us letting go and not chasing our dreams and us not taking control of our lives.

If you’re not married and live in a family who is always fighting, learn to laugh at them and yourself (not insultingly).
If you didn’t get admission in the field you wanted and it was your life long dream, learn to accept it as a reality, a part of life and prove to yourself that you can’t be beaten just by that. Select the second best option or create one.
If you’re living a life full of financial troubles, learn to buy things from cheap places that look great and still save money so you can buy something expensive a few months later. Learn to make happy friends who live in the moment, get some skills and try to earn through them.
If you’re trying so hard to stabilize your family and no matter what you do you never move much ahead, learn to be thankful about not going backwards and appreciate those who appreciate your efforts and make them happy.
If your car’s tire got punctured (just any daily problem), be happy and thankful at least you didn’t hurt anyone and you’re okay and that it didn’t get worse.

We need to learn to be happy. We need to learn to accept life and people around us as they are. We need to learn to be able to deal with disagreements. We need to learn to say ‘no’ respectfully. We need to love ourselves, our lives, our relations, our things. We need to learn to take control of things as soon as we get hit. We need to learn to be strong while being sensitive and weak. We need to learn!

Surround yourself with positive people, people who are happy and who make others happy.

It’s not like if you learn to take control of life or be happy, there won’t be any other problem. There will always be problems. We just need to believe in ourselves and act and to learn to not panic and focus on the ‘to do’ more.

GPS of our life (part 1)

Life is an unwinding spiral where you can’t see the next spiral and probably that’s what makes it beautiful. It makes us realize that we literally can’t control anything. It’s like two designs that intermix: one that we make for ourselves and one that God makes for us.

Division Of People According To Me Based On Goal Setting Only

Category 1: Most of the people just spend their life without actually having a goal.
Category 2: Those who let circumstances drive them.
Category 3: Those who drive their circumstances.

For those who don’t have goals or don’t even realize that they don’t (category 1), we’ll talk later. 😉
As for those who do have goals, here are a few things I’ve learnt.

We have a certain place in our minds that we want to reach. Like a GPS we set our minds to that ‘destination’ and plan a route to reach that point. Imagining, planning and daydreaming about how it will be like when we actually reach there; places we’ll go, people we’ll face and things we’ll learn. All the while we’re so into this whole ‘planning our life’ when suddenly we miss a turn or take a wrong exit, that’s when our GPS reroutes.

Now this is where half the people just change. They give up, waste time asking ‘why did this happen to me?’ type of questions, imagining situations ‘had I done this, this wouldn’t have happened’ or vice versa, they always feel sad and broken about how their life could have been different but… *sigh*

This is category 2 type of people. They define their life through the eyes of their circumstances. They just focus so much on missing ‘that little exit that cost them 5 extra minutes’ that they make more mistakes and miss the next turn too or take another wrong turn. So they make their own life miserable starting with one mistake.

Sometimes these people don’t miss out anything that is they don’t make any mistake but they had planned, say, to grab pizza from that place on their way and they reached there only to realize that that place is no longer there. Shoot! Now what? We were dependent on this pizza and we can’t go back all the way. So they just start wondering ‘what had gone wrong?’ telling and asking their own selves ‘we did everything right then why…?’.

These people make two choices:
A) To be sad for the rest of their life and bring up how blah blah affected their life restricting them from achieving their goals
B) Go all the way back and change what they think might have gone wrong (mostly to face another unexpected change and wanting to start over again … or ending up as case A).

GPS of life rerouted

Now the other half, category 3, does what obviously not everybody knows and thinks they can do (but they can). They give it some time to accept the reality. The GPS of life rerouted and now they have a different route.
They will see whether with this new route they achieve their goal or not?
If yes, what’s the path?
Does it include all the things they meant to collect on their way? GPS of life rerouted
Does it take longer and is the wait worth it? ….

Basically they assess the situation from ‘now what’s to be done?’ perspective.

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Recently something like this happened in my life. I had huge ambitions: MBA, a good job, attend courses on religious grooming and anything related to brain development, conduct workshops on happiness, dealing with life, and anything I can help people with, keep a pet, travel, exercise, meet different people, shop! Oh God what not. I had my life all planned and laid out. Aaand then I got married. Like within 15 days, maybe less, everything just swooshed to a completely different angle. Wow. Okay what just happened? (Of course I personally agreed to it all so don’t judge)

To be honest I can never be category 1: people who don’t have dreams. But yes, I did start as category 2. I was always crying. Hypothetically; I don’t like to make my problems public and by public I mean not anyone other than God. I was continuously sad, about the things I thought I couldn’t do now or how my life just wasn’t turning up the way I had planned, to the extent I started blaming myself for agreeing into marriage *eyes roll at self* 🙄
‘Huh I had to marry so soon. I’m so young. Had I still been unmarried I would’ve done this and that by now. I better learn to stop dreaming coz it’s useless anyway. I have to be responsible and not not be myself so I can prove to be a good wife!’ Wait what? I just got bored of being so negative (it’s just my nature, so yeah). Nope. All of the above are not my thing.

That’s when I realized I had only been negative about everything. Like when you hate someone and even their smile seems fake? Just like that, I hated everything. I realized only the GPS of my life rerouted. I can still go where I want to go. Maybe some places and some things will change but this new route will have its own different experiences.